Tuesday, August 29, 2006

We need fan fiction!

Enough rumbling, let's see the words!

It's time to put your keyboards where your mouths are, odd though that may sound. The direction that the Hiatus storyline was taking left us with some tantalizing hints about things to come, and I want to see them! We can't depend on the networks or the movie studios to pick it up -- although I hope they do, and I urge you to get those petitions out -- so its up to us to pick up the slack. As Manny Ulrich, the creator and director of Hiatus famously said when asked what fans should do now that the show was cancelled: "Write fanfic! Just don't let me see it or I'll whip a box of lawyers on you so fast it'll knock your plastic pointy Rllrian noses off."

Ha ha! We love you, Manny! So we want your fanfic. What happens next to the crew of the Venture? What is Scipola's dark secret? What happened in the deleted love scene in the crew's cafeteria? We want to know!

Submissions should be under 500 words long can be posted here. Anything longer, post it at your own website or blog and send us the link. I'll be selecting Bestest Action, Best Crossover, and Vompest Story.

Start your keyboards! You might want to get them off your face, first. Vompy!


kara said...

The first Hiatus 100 word drabble. You wanted the deleted love scene in the cafeteria? Here's the beginning.

His deep gaze burned her. She could feel the heat rising, radiating outward from her mouth, which he stared at so intensely.
Araceli was brought back to the present by the sound of his voice, whispering, “You love me, so what are we waiting for? Let’s prove it, now!”
“Here?” She gestured at the people eating and talking. “With all these people around? You can’t be serious, let’s go to your cabin, set the lights to candlelight. Let’s have a romantic evening.”
He grabbed her fiercely. “If you love me why does it matter? Here. Now. Or not at all.

bob said...

Script Background:
Keeping with show tradition, a new captain has been brought on board for this episode. Like trek red-shirts, we know his time is limited. This week’s guest captain is, as usual, played by a B-list celebrity whom everyone is having trouble identifying.

THE BRIDGE. The holo-viewer shows a twin planet – two dark globules in space, material is flowing back and forth between them in complex eddies.

Captain Ambrose: Nice pair!

Doctor Chavez: Watch it, sir. Wouldn’t want to create a hostile work environment.

Ambrose: All I said was…

Science Officer Scipola: [coughing] Sir, at our present course and speed, we will enter the gravity well of the two planets in approximately 32 seconds. I recommend a vector change.

Ambrose: Or what?

Scipola: Or in roughly 47 seconds it will be impossible for us to gain sufficient acceleration to pull free of the combined gravity, and we’ll be pounded to a slurry of various plastic, metallic, and protein compounds.

Helmsman Otho: 15, 14, 13, 12

Ambrose: What is that idiot counting down?

Chavez: I’m afraid to look.

Otho: Um, 9, um, um, 6?

Scipola: Sir?

Ambrose: Very well, change course to [he points with a flourish toward the view screen – a “finger” of plasma points back at him]


Otho: [throwing up hands in glee] ZERO! Woo hoo!

Chavez: Oh God! Again?! Where are we gonna get another captain in this part of the multi-verse. I mean, really, is it too much to ask that one of them at least read the manual?

Scipola: Doctor, I wish you wouldn’t throw terms like “multi-verse” around. Do you even know what it means?

Chavez: Sure, do! It’s a song that repeats and probably has a chorus.

Otho: [jumping up and down clapping] Like It’s a Small World!

Chavez: Actually…no.

Scipola: Um, Otho?

Otho: Otho like funny captain man.

Scipola: you can turn off the holo viewer now.

[Otho bounds gleefully across the room to the viewer controls. He starts doing a whirling-dervish dance around the bridge, making strange quasi-musical noises that, within the limits of copyright protection, sound vaguely like the tune to It’s a Small World]

Chavez: Wait a minute!

Scipola: [acting innocent] What?!

Chavez: You mean those planets…

Scipola: Yeah, I cooked it up in PhotoShop. [chuckling]

Chavez: You’re incorrible. [mugging for the camera as he utters his big tag-line]

Scipola: Ain’t I though [also mugging for the camera…trying out this week’s attempt at developing his OWN tag line. As usual, the attempt falls flat]

Chavez: Why’re you making that face? Are you ill?

Scipola: Oh, never mind [mugging, but only half-heartedly]

Chavez: No, really, are you feeling alright?”

Scipola: Awhhh, forget it. [a momentary ¼ mugging for the camera, then a shrug] [turning] Otho! Knock it off and lay in a course for the Repulsian Pleasure Planet!

Otho: [who stops in mid twirl/leap with a look of horror] NOT THE REPULSIAN PLEASURE PLANET!

[fade scene. Ominous background music]

Teshi said...

My humble contribition to Hiatus' cause:


Save Hiatus!

Anonymous said...

I only have the beginning so far...
"It was a dark and stormy night."

Anne/kq said...

"The Last Kiss" is up at my blog:

Avid Reader said...

Here's some Hiatus without all that annoying talking and thinking. Just sex and violence. (PG-13, though, of course.)

I was sitting at my desk relaxing when the Captain burst in. The top buttons of her shirt were undone giving me a taste of what I liked. “Too bad you didn’t wait for me. But keep going, let’s see what you got.”
“Can it, Lieutenant. Bridge reports weapons powering up on the surface.”
I bolted out of my chair. “What? Samar said it was a dead world.”
“Not dead enough.”
The duty officer filled the Captain in while I went straight for ops. Sensors, coms, and bulkheads were reporting interference, but we could see a dozen guns on line.
I was trying to make sense of it when we were hailed. “Is that from the surface?”
“Ensign, pinpoint that signal,” the Captain said.
“I can’t, ma’am. It’s too garbled.”
The screen filled with a droopy face like a basset hound. “I am Irrnasi of the Daygar, and you are in violation of a quarantine zone. Are you damaged?”
“Quarantine? We didn’t see anything.”
“That is unfortunate. The signs are quite obvious to our kind. Have the ghosts damaged you?”
I laughed. “Ghosts? How’d a yokel like you get a starship?”
“You will see. The ghosts of the Margon are onboard. If you have not removed their artifact in twenty minutes, we will eliminate you.”
Karin pumped the bloated tick for specifics, but I was already trying Samar on the com. No one else would have brought anything back. He was babbling nonsense.
I could see the lab when the bulkhead came slamming down. A tuck and roll saved me. With an oath for all engineers, I called Mac. “What was that?”
“Not me, Granley. We’re crawling with nanites.”
“How do I get in?”
“Try the ducts. I’m not promising anything.”
I held my breath all the way. Inside, Samar was bobbing over his workbench. He stared like a stranger. “We stop the Daygar.”
“Give me the artifact, and they go away.”
“You give?” Samar lunged at me. I blocked a punch that felt like a wild thrundush.
“You juicing, buddy?”
“We are strong now.” Samar landed a punch that cracked two teeth. I felt the ship shudder beneath me.
Then the Captain was on the com, “Incoming fire. Evasive action.”
“Is this what you want, Samar?” He blocked my jab, jab, punch combo. “You proving you can take me before we all die?”
His roundhouse was easy to block, but the hook nailed me. Then he stopped. “Daygon shoot?”
“Yeah, buddy. The Daygon shoot. And they will until we ditch whatever you stole.”
The com erupted in sparks. Mac announced, “Electricity, Granley. It wipes their memories.” I grabbed my taser and shot from the hip as the lights went out.
“We did not know.” Then Samar was clenched tight. I popped him one for good measure.
I stuffed the artifact in the emergency airlock and blasted it into vacuum. “Daygon ship breaking off. Good work, Granley.”
“Maybe for you. I just punched a friend in the face.”

Anne/kq said...

avidreader, that was an awful lot of talking and an awful little sex. :p

Avid Reader said...

I maintain it's still less talking than in the pilot. :)